Dawn's Early Light

There is so much to write about when it comes to Wiggly, but I feel as though I repeat myself. How much can one say about breastfeeding? And how much do others really want to hear about it? What about all the little things about becoming a parent? I know I bore people, I can't help it. He's my favorite topic.

I've discovered something: I enjoy getting up at 5am with my child. This is bizarre. I really value my sleep and I always have; in essence, this is quite a shock to me. Sometimes he wakes me up, others I rouse him, but it's generally the same. Somewhere between 5 and 6 am, we are up. Nursing and cuddling. It's blissful and quiet. Sometimes I turn on the tv, others I don't. The dogs and Bubby are generally still asleep, so this time is just for us. He eats quickly and efficiently in those early morning hours; hungry from having not eaten all night. There are mornings he promptly falls back to sleep after eating, when I get the chance to snuggle his warm, sleepy body.

Other mornings he is bright eyed and happy. He smiles, coos, babbles and squeals. I laugh, he does it some more. I give him a million kisses and he returns with happy, toothless, drooling, open-mouthed ones. We love every moment, he and I.

If there are professional cuddlers, then my son is the MVP. Curling in and often hanging on, his favorite place is against someone bigger than himself. After he finishes eating and I am sufficiently drained, I change his diaper and clothes. I try to sneak in a few more moments, when he inevitably falls back to sleep. In my arms. Where he belongs...until I have to put him down and get ready for my day. A day spent away from him. The rest of the day he spends with a sitter, my husband or whomever else we spend the day with. Even the time I spend with him tends to be with other people. It's not just us.

I know these moments will disappear all too soon. He will grow and no longer need to be nursed at 5am. But for now, I look forward to it. It's our time. No one elses. Like the knowing I had of him in the womb no one else knew, I know him at 5am. No other person. Just me. I quite like it that way.